Bizarre Jealousy

Tonight's different here in Israel. The neighborhood bars, usually bustling, sit idle. People of all age brackets come together in somber song.

Israel is remembering the 22,993 Jews who have fallen in battle or been killed by terror since 1860. Nearly 23,000 killed because of the countless who don't want us here.

I stood for the siren and attended the municipal ceremony at the Beer Sheva City Hall with good friends. Then I caught a lovely evening of song at the Beer Sheva Theater (the accordion was so clutch). But despite some uplifting songs amid the sad ones (and quite a few songs--new to me--about the South and Beer Sheva), everyone walked out as if they had just been punched in the gut.

I struggle today to fully identify with Israelis, most of whom have lost someone close to them to war or terror. My closest connections are to a former taglit (birthright) co-staff whose sister was killed in a highway shooting on her way home in Judea, and an old taglit tour guide who lost one of the soldiers she had trained. But having joined the club in running to shelter a dozen-plus times, and having read of Israelis who weren't able to get to shelter in time, I do feel the One Family connection more deeply this time around.

On Sunday night I saw one of the most outstanding films I've seen in a long time, Lebanon, on campus, followed by a discussion with its director Samuel Maoz, Shmulik--the film's main character. Shmulik opened his heart in writing the film and shared even more intimately, unbelievably deeply, with the audience.

I thanked him and gave him a hug afterward, saying "I decided to study at Ben-Gurion University instead of enlisting as a 'dinosaur' (those who make aliyah after age 26 aren't required to serve). While I am partly jealous and regretful of missing out on the army experience that most Israelis went through (tough to say after seeing Shmulik's incredibly traumatic, painful war experience), much of me doesn't regret my decision. Regardless, thank you for helping me to better understand the country I live in."

With the powerful feelings of the movie and lecture still escorting me, later that night I had another bizarrely jealous feeling:  my Dad and Poppa (Mom's Dad) are hanging out together now. Damn, what I would do to sit with each of them, both of them, have a beer, talk music, talk Judaism, laugh, smile. Bizarre Jealousy--the only way to sum that up.

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Last Thursday was Yom HaShoah, Holocaust Memorial Day. I gave my first really well-received speech in Hebrew. Here it is (I'll have to come back and translate at a more normal hour):

ערב טוב לכולם. באמת לכבוד הוא לי לקחת חלק בערב זה ולזכות להכיר מקרוב גם את ניצולי דרום הארץ וגם את העשייה היפה והענפה הנעשית באוניברסיטת בן-גוריון עבור ניצולי השואה המתגוררים בבאר שבע והסביבה. אני פועל מטעם הסוכנות היהודית והמשרד לאזרחים ותיקים, רכז הדרום של פרויקט "לעד", ששם לעצמו למטרה לסייע לכל ניצולי השואה החיים בישראל בבירור ומיצוי זכויותיהם, בעזרת מתנדבים יקרים ונאמנים מכל רחבי הארץ.

אני עומד כאן גם מטעם פרויקט "לעד" וגם כסטודנט, במיוחד בזכות שתי ניצולות מדהימות.

באתי לארץ לפני שבע שנים כדי להתנדב בתכנית של מסע במשך עשרה חודשים, והקשישים שהכרתי במושב נהורה, ליד קרית גת, שינו את החיים שלי. עדה, ששרדה את אושוויץ', איכשהו תמיד בירכה אותי עם חיוך מאוזן לאוזן, וסימלה בשבילי את הרוח הישראלית- לקחת את הקושי והעצב ולהפוך אותם לשמחה, ולהעריך וליהנות מהחיים.

הכרתי את אסתר כשהתנדבתי בירושלים בקפה אירופה, מועדון לניצולים. היא אמרה לי "לך ללמוד תואר שני. אנחנו לא זכינו ללמוד באוניברסיטה. תפסיק להתלבט ותלך על זה!" אסתר יכולה למעשה להיות מרצה במחלקה שלי, התכנית לגרונטולוגיה- לימודי זקנה. למרות כל האתגרים בחייה, במיוחד המאבק שלה בסרטן, היא תמיד מוכנה לתרום את הזמן והידע שלה, החל מהרצאות לקבוצות של תלמידים וחיילים, וכלה בראיונות לטובת ארבע עבודות שלי במהלך התואר.

בכל יום השואה אני מתקשר אל בת דודה רחוקה שגרה בדטרויט. הסבא היקר שלי, זכרונו לברכה, יצר מסורת משפחתי לתרום לניצולים. פולה הגיעה לביקור באוהיו קצת אחרי שהיא הגירה לארצות הברית, וסבא, אז בעל חנות בגדים, הציע לה לקחת את כל מה שהיא רצה בחנות כולה.

החלטתי לעלות לארץ בזכות קשישים וניצולים כמו עדה במושב נהורה ועברתי ללמוד בבן-גוריון בזכות ניצולים כמו אסתר. עכשיו כולנו מחוברים אחד לשני ברצוננו לעזור ולהתחבר לניצולי השואה בדרום ולמצות את זכויותיהם כדי שהם יזדקנו בכבוד.

התייעצתי עם קרן לפני שנסעתי לאשקלון השבוע ליומיים של גיוס מתנדבים חדשים במכללה. מתנדבת של פרויקט "לעד" שלומדת במכללה באשדוד עשתה זאת באותו זמן שם. קרן הציעה לא להיות אמריקאי מנומס, אלא ישראלי חצוף כמו החבר'ה בעגלות. אבל בניגוד למי שהולך למכור קרם רגליים בחניון באיזו ארץ רחוקה, נהניתי כל פעם, אלף פעמים, שאמרתי "בואו תעזרו לניצולי השואה להזדקן בכבוד?" והם נענו- עשרות מתנדבים פוטנציאלים חדשים נרשמו. כל הסיפור הזה הוא פשוט ההגדרה של המילה שליחות.

המון תודה לכולכם על העשייה הקדושה.

In a sadly typical manic-depressive way, Israel goes from mourning to partying like madmen tomorrow night. I'll be in Rehovot with good friends Louie and Chana, and off to see one of my favorite Israeli singer-songwriters, Matti Caspi, in concert for my first time. I'll choose a fittingly sad classic now, לא ידעתי שתלכי ממני/I Didn't Know You'd Leave Me. But come tomorrow night we'll bust out the celebratory songs and a drink and celebrate Israel's 64th! I won't drink too much--early the next morning I'll be off to hike through the beautiful Land of Israel.

Don't worry baby, you don't have to ask me "Will you still need me 'When I'm 64'?" Love you more than ever, and thrilled to be here!

Love and peace,

אריק/Eric

This Year in Jerusalem! This October in Texas!

I commemorated Dad's memorial last week, on ו' בניסן, the sixth of the Hebrew month of Nissan. That is the day, a short while before Pesach (which starts tonight), that will retain the most meaning for me. The secular date of April 10 (or 9 really as he passed just before midnight) means more for most of Dad's loved ones. As this year that date falls on Pesach, a time of great joy in celebrating G-d freeing the Jews from Egypt and the cohesion of the Jewish people (and on holidays public mourning is to be avoided), I spent today reflecting and mourning. And I found these incredible, goose-bump-enducing words:

And so the teacher keeps teaching us: to keep fighting; to keep eating; to keep learning; to live every moment we are given; to greet the world and all its people hands white and black and brown and yellow and red as clay with curiosity, with compassion, with openness and wisdom, wonder and love. That was the music of Jerry Samuels' life. May it ever echo in ours.

אשירה ואזמרה לה'

That we might in his memory, make of our lives, a song of praise to G-d.

-Our amazing Rabbi David Stern, Temple Emanu-El

My eternal gratitude for Dad's lessons will quite simply always be accompanied by an eternal sadness that he's not with us anymore.

We have the gift of so much great material here on Dad's Myspace page. Many of the same words are on his CaringBridge page as well. Please reflect, learn, absorb, be inspired!

And as a friend in Jerusalem said after the Memorial Music Night last week, there's just nothing like having an amazing parent! So I'll keep his spirit going.

He'll be watching from upstairs as our two-time defending American League Champion Texas Rangers take on the hated White Sox in today's opener. This video of Nolan Ryan owning their new manager Robin Ventura will never get old...

This Year I celebrate Pesach in Jerusalem! This October let's see that World Series trophy finally come to Texas! Nothing but love from the holy city,

אריק/Eric

R.S.V.P.

Here's my first performance of my dad's composition R.S.V.P. that I played at his Memorial Music Night fundraiser in Jerusalem. I made sure to leave room for improvement in the next performance :) And sorry about that very loud piano bench squeaking!

I wrapped up that event Overwhelmed. With immense Gratitude for my beloved Jerusalem friends who opened their hearts with incredibly healing words and said Amen to my Mourner's Kaddish, opened their wallets in contributing almost 2100 shekels towards the new Soroka Hospital Comprehensive Cancer Center in Beer Sheva, for dear friend Tamara who opened her house and got the piano tuned to make it happen, to my sweet and brilliant Dad for his timeless, eternal music.

Here's an exquisite explanation of the Kaddish from chabad.org, originally from Maurice Lamm's definitive book on the Jewish rituals of mourning.

We also sang my anthem for the year of mourning, Yehuda Poliker's פחות אבל עוד כואב/Pachot Aval Od Co'ev/Less, but it still hurts. And my friend Naomi had shared a beautiful Leonard Cohen song with my before Yom Kippur, Who By Fire (from the Yom Kippur liturgy), with Sonny Rollins on sax.

Off to bed with a jam-packed rest of the work-week awaiting me until I celebrate freedom on Passover this Friday! Happy 6th birthday to my amazing nephew Jake!

Love,

אריק/Eric

Last Chance to See Me Live on TV

למי שפספס (כמוני) את השידור הראשון, שוב אפשר לראות אותי בערוץ 10, בעוד כרבע שעה! I'll be back on the air in about 15 minutes on Channel 10. Turn on those TVs or go to http://10tv.nana10.co.il/

From Chicago to Beer Sheva

You can watch my interview on Nekuda IL right here (not the best quality ever, but it'll do).

For those like my dear Mom who only understood "Chicago, Beer Sheva and Dallas, TX," here are some brief subtitles for you:

-Sitting with us is Eric Samuels, who made aliyah from Chicago and is pursuing his Master's in Beer Sheva. How's your Hebrew?

-Thank G-d. I got my exemption in Hebrew from the university, after trying for two years.

I grew up in Dallas, TX and worked in Chicago for five years. I learned Hebrew from scratch seven years ago when I volunteered here on a program.

-So tell us a bit about the Jewish community in Chicago.

-It's a fun place for a young Jewish adult to live. Any kind of community you're looking for is there--I myself joined a Modern Orthodox synagogue with an amazing Rabbi. The community offers whatever you're looking for--Hillel on college campuses, etc.

-So if it's so great, why did you leave?

-During my year on the volunteer program, I was exposed to Israeli culture, food, music, a different pace and different way of life. I was especially impacted working with older adults in the community, in a moshav and in Jerusalem.

-Already back then you were in Beer Sheva?

-I was in the south for six months, in Ashkelon and Kiryat Gat, so I connected to the region.

-I imagine it's quite different from Chicago.

-Yea, a bit!

-So now you live in Beer Sheva?

-I live in the Gimmel neighborhood, I really like it in Beer Sheva.

-And what are you studying?

-A Master's in Gerontology.

-First of all, tell us about the degree.

-We learn all the aspects of old age and aging, the needs of older adults, how best to serve them.

-And what will you do with the degree?

-I'm actually working as the South Region Coordinator for Project La'ad, a program clarifying the rights of Holocaust survivors.

-That fits great with your studies.

-Absolutely.

-And how does Beer Sheva look from Chicago? Do they see it at all?

-Not really--it looks like a desert. There's not a ton of awareness about Beer Sheva.

-It's hard for me to understand how someone would move from Chicago to the desert.

-My first three years after my aliyah I lived in Jerusalem and went to Hebrew Ulpan there. Jerusalem has an enormous Anglo community. It's different in Beer Sheva, but there are Anglos there too--great people. But if you want a truly Israeli experience, it's the place. I have Israeli roommates; I wanted to integrate, not to live in a bubble.

-Good luck! Thanks for joining us.

The show will also be aired this Friday March 30th at 11:00 Israel time/3 am Central time for anyone up late Thursday night.

With that I'm off to bed. Take care,

אריק/Eric

My Israeli TV Debut

Check out my official (this time counts cause they put makeup on me) Israeli TV Debut, interviewed about the life of a new immigrant living in Beer Sheva on Channel 10's "Nekuda IL" program. The mayor of Beer Sheva, the president of Ben-Gurion University...and then me towards the end!

Please watch live here:

Israel time: Sat. 3/24 17:00, Sunday 3/25 5:00, Next Friday 3/30 11:00.

ET: Sat. 3/24 11am, Sat. 3/24 11pm, next Fri. 3/30 5am

Much love from Jerusalem after a, thank G-d, quiet week!

שבת שלום וחודש טוב/Shabbat Shalom and Chodesh Tov,

אריק/Eric

A week of running...to shelter and to the Finish Line

Tumultuous sums up this week pretty well. 13 sirens calling me to shelter. The last one in Shaar HaNegev where I signed up two new groups to volunteer with Project Laad. There in the Sderot area, instead of the air raid siren (going up and down, on a loop), there is a soothing female voice saying "צבע אדום/tzeva adom/Red alert." I say they adopt that lady and her lovely voice elsewhere. The issue there, as Sderot is closer to Gaza, is that you only have 15 seconds (as opposed to one minute in Beer Sheva) to get to shelter.

Three of my Beer Sheva friends are quoted here in Haaretz about the craziness this week.

So I survived, headed to Tel Aviv, had a beer with my good friend Joshua. Then after work meetings in Tel Aviv, caught Rabbi Winick and Ori from the phenomenal January taglit trip for Asperger's participants. Today I participated for the second time in the second annual Jerusalem Marathon's open route fundraiser for the Israel Cancer Association. What a treat to enjoy the amazing energy of thousands of runners, and then the very muddy after-party in Sacher Park replete with Zumba and all sorts of fun stuff.

Yesterday I got the grade for my last exam.

Reflecting on the great and far-less-so this week, I'm bringing in Shabbat with a nerve-soothing, reflective song by the late, great Meir Ariel: נשל הנחש/Neshel HaNachash. Much love and שבת שלום מירושלים עיר הקודש/Shabbat Shalom from Holy Jerusalem!

אריק/Eric